Howerton+Wooten Events Blog. The musings of a Maryland Wedding and Event Planner

Carolyn Bourne's Lack of Manners

The fact that Carolyn Bourne's e-mail message went viral, is the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT REASON why you should not send an e-mail or a text or a letter when you are upset, angry or annoyed.

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from: Carolyn Bourne
to: heidi withers
subject: your lack of manners

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughter's marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

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So, what is the most important reason why Mrs. Bourne should not have sent this e-mail?

That e-mail was just plain mean.  There are numerous other (more productive) ways to express your frustration.  And, this is not it.

Before we can "blast" our future family members about their lack of manners, we should show some ourselves.

 

Love and Soul Always, Kay

Favorite Wedding Moments of 2010

The Howerton+Wooten Events team is about to embark upon our 2011 Wedding Season!

Before we begin our 2011 wedding season, we would like to pay a little homage to our 2010 wedding season by sharing some of our favorite moments captured by our couples' awesome wedding photographers. 

 
For most children, watching a wedding is like watching paint dry. (Photo: Love Life Images)

 

I love this tender moment between this bride and her father.  There are a ton of people in the room, but you wouldn't know it by the look in their eyes. (A. Britton Photography) 

At Nigerian weddings, the parents, wedding party and bride and groom are literally danced into the wedding reception.  This entrance was so fun.  I must confess that I wanted to dance in with them!  (Photo: Tunji Sarumi Photography)

 

 

Andy and Naomi's first dance song was "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.  Andy sang the entire song to Naomi while they danced.  I think Andy is awesome!  (Photo: Sandi Foraci Photography)

 

 

This was a lively little group, so I am amazed that Tunji was able to capture such a remarkable moment.  I love this picture!  (Photo: Tunji Sarumi Photography) 

 
Exactly one minute prior to the start of this wedding, the wind started to blow and the skies opened up.  In a flash, this wedding was moved inside.  I will always love Meredith for her amazing spirit throughout our quick move.  (Photo: JA Laub Photography) 

 

I'm a mom, so I cannot help it.  I love pictures of ring bearers and flower girls.  And, there is something so precious about this ring bearer and flower girl standing next to this Marine.  (Tony Richards Wedding Photography)

 

So, tell me.  What was your best wedding moment of last year's wedding season?

Love and Soul Always, Kay 

Paying a Little Homage to the Life of My Warrior Mother

This morning, the Howerton+Wooten Events team is headed to Newton White Mansion to take care of one of the sweetest couples we have ever met.

But, before I head out this morning, I have to pay a little homage to the life of my warrior mother, Loretta Howerton.

For the first time in my life, I have absolutely no voice.  I cannot describe the hole that her death has left me.

So, I am borrowing the words of Martina McBride's song, "In My Daughter's Eyes," because she was and will always be my hero.

Happy Mother's Day.

Love and Soul Always, Kay

Love is like Playing the Piano

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart."

-- Unknown

Love and Soul Always, Kay

 

(Photo Credit)

Monday Morning Thoughts: Wedding Perfection is in the Eye of the Beholder

There may be a moment in your wedding planning when you select a flower or an invitation or a dress that is absolutely perfect.

This selection is so perfect to you that you get butterflies in your stomach every time you think about it.

Now imagine that your mom, girlfriend or co-worker is not thrilled with your "perfect selection."

What do you do?

Do you change your mind?  or Cry?  or Fuss at your Planner for letting you think that your perfect decision was . . . well perfect.

 

No.  You don't do any of those things.

 

You keep on loving your perfect flower or your perfect dress or your perfect invitation.  And know that everyone isn't going to like the same things that you like.

And, that's okay.

Because this is your wedding.

 

Love and Soul Always, Kay

The Simplify Journey: Turning Off Technology

Last year, my household experienced a weather-related power outage.

We have a generator, so we were able to keep the necessaties up and running.  But, the fun stuff like TVs, laptops, and (gasp) game consoles had to be put on hold until the power was back on.

Once the initial shock was over, my family members and I realized that the lack of technology allowed us more time to do the things we truly love -- read a good book, go for a walk, and really enjoy each other's company.

The same can go for wedding planning -- consider taking this weekend to turn off all of your technology.  Spend some time with your fiance or your family or your friends.

That's what I am going to do this weekend.  Starting in 5, 4, 3, 2 . . .

 

Love and Soul Always, Kay

 

The Simplify Journey: Simple Ways to Show Your Love

God painted a rainbow in the sky to assure us he would always love us without reserve. That simple visual aid teaches us about God's faithfulness and invites us to practice fidelity in return.

— from Staying Faithful Today

 

After my guy, Chris Wooten, and I married, I thought we had to show each other grand gestures of love.  Almost 15 years later, I now know that simple gestures go a long way.  Here are some of our favorites --

• Make Breakfast in Bed
• Pack a Surprise Lunch for a Tough Day at Work
• Pack an Impromptu Picnic (for the family room floor)
• Make Dinner (it doesn't have to be romantic)
• Bake a Cake (or Cupcakes or Cookies)
• Call to Say Hi
• Say, "Good Morning"
• Say, "I Love You"
• Say, "Good Night"
• Wash the Dishes
• Wash the Clothes
• Pick up the Dry Cleaning
• Pick up the Kids
• Take out the Trash
• Take your Vitamins
• Take Good Care of Yourself
• Watch an Action Movie
• Watch a Romantic Comedy
• Release the TV Remote
• Release your Anger
• Smile
• Send Flowers
• Send Chocolates
• Send a Card
• Send an E-Mail, a Text, or a Tweet
• Write a Letter
• Write a Poem
• Go to Work
• Go to School
• Go to Church
• Listen
• Laugh Out Loud
• Snicker
• Snuggle
• Provide a Shoulder
• Provide a Hand
• Provide Shelter
• Hold Hands
• Shut Your Mouth
• Shut the Toilet
• Eat crow
• Eat a "really bad" Meal
• Give a Compliment
• Be a Complement
• Give a Good Morning Kiss
• Give an Eskimo Kiss
• Give a Good Night Kiss
• Smile
• Dance
• Hug
• Pray

We all need to be reminded that we are loved.

What simple ways are you showing your love?

Happy Valentines Day

Love and Soul Always, Kay

 

Photo via: adwrighty

The Simplify Journey: Removing Clutter

Last last month, my friend and former Chamber colleague, Cheryl Smith, asked me to join her Simplify Blog Journey.

Since 2010 was a great deal more dramatic than I care to admit, I thought this request was a perfect opportunity for me to learn and share tools for simplifying your (and my) life.

One of the steps so many of us need to take to reduce the drama in our daily lives is "removing clutter."  I

So, what does this have to do with your wedding?

Well, instead of blowing through your engagement with a binder full of papers, stress and drama, consider following the advice given in some of my previous blog posts.  Hopefully, it will help you remove the mental and physical clutter from your life.

Ask For Help.  Being over-committed can definitely lead to mental clutter.  Embrace the fact that you are human and ask for help.

Blogs.  I love blogs!  But, I recommend taking a little time to select your favorite blogs. Pick the blogs that provide you with the best inspiration and information.  Cause, let's face it -- too much information (and inspiration) can be overwhelming.  And, it can affect your ability to make a decision.

Understand Wedding TV.  I know you have heard this a thousand times, but wedding planning TV can be fun AND misleading.  So, consider limiting what you watch and remove all of the dramatic clutter in your life.

Too Many Wedding Magazines?.  I get it.  I love wedding magazines (we all do)!  But, they can pile up before you know it.  Here is a reprise of a post that will help you dispose of your well-read magazines. 

So, there you have it -- Trim down your mental and physical clutter, and take a positive step toward simplifying your wedding planning life.

Love and Soul Always, Kay

 

Love and Trust

 

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

-- George MacDonald

 

 

Love and Soul Always, Kay

 

(Photo: SMS Templates)

What "the Maids" could teach you about Wedding Planning

 
I have this "perfect" neighbor.

She looks fantastic every time I see her.

Not just the "I'm so pretty" fantastic.

Well, she looks "pretty" fantastic too, but she also looks "happy" fantastic.

You know what I am talking about?  She looks like everything is just great, and she got her full 8 hours of sleep on a comfy bed.

On top of that, she has a very nice lawn, and her house (even though she has a dog, cat and numerous children) is always clean.

I am ashamed to admit this, but I used to question my abilities when I compared myself to her.

Then, I started working from home, and I found out one of her secrets.

She had help. I took the "covert picture" above of the Maids car in her driveway.  Why?  Because I needed to remind myself to chill out.

So, what does this have to do with wedding planning?

The next time you find yourself comparing your wedding planning to another bride, think of this.

You have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.

She may have a very active fiance or an excellent (ahem) wedding planner or a very helpful mom.  Heck, she may have started planning that wedding WAY BEFORE her fiance gave her an engagement ring.

Whatever it is, stop comparing yourself, and stop worrying about what everyone has finished.  Focus on (and be grateful for) your own blessings.  (That's what I did.)

And, happily plan your wedding at your own pace.

Love and Soul Always, Kay

 

(Photo: Yes, I took this shameful picture of my neighbor's driveway)